years are nothing, i've heard.

the joy of STILL BEING HERE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

having been born.

years are nothing, i've heard.

may the cosmic powers of the christ and the buddha clean us, may love find us shiny and pure in our ONE spirit, and ONE deep peace within our many souls.

may children faced with adversity learn to hold on, and forgive.

may their adversaries forgive themselves, so they may forgive others.

"But whoever looks intently into the perfect law of freedom, and perpetuates it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do." james 1:25

child self

I've been contemplating my personal myth of my inner child. Can I help not be in awe of what I've been given to work with? Labyrinthine grey matter mansions i wander through, where i am my most sacred child self, enjoying gardens of fungi, which are thoughts. Some thoughts are poison, some are euphoric. To find my way back here, I am harnessed to a golden leash, strung through the cosmos and Atlanta, then knotted into my physical heart in this moment.

looking/holidaze

looking and finding on the

path am i

my gratitude may expand

may it heal

my friends and enemies. i concede that

i know nothing, nor can knowledge ever

be satisfied. I concede that i think i'm in love with the human spirit &

the ability to be a conduit of the consciousness of light, and when

resonating with emptiness, i ask the light to be part of this process.

i do not accuse god of abandonment,

for i am rich, both in laughter and exasperation.

the zen mind may come with me, as

i look within for a new understanding...

the path is a fire, shredding my feet

and icy shards.

opening me.

today discussing the holidays,

with linda,

enjoying the first caffeine and nicotine high

of the morning:

the pains of

consumerism,

seasonal depression,

the funeral procession of beautiful turkeys and pigs

from their graves to our tables.

all reminders of "our apparent wealth or lack."

(i apologize for my ego being a grinch,)

so linda reminded me that the holidays

are meant as a time to get together close

with others, to stay warm in the cold,

to fill light in the dark, so we won't be so sad.

summer will come again,

and one year from now, we'll be killing all of our turkeys again,

preparing to celebrate being alive through cold and dark.

Vincente Lopez

relinquishing the hot, angry urge to be right.

When one is argumentative, one is hoping to win the argument. I have observed that any person arguing for his or her own righteousness should reach an agreement that only one opinion or statement is the only complete truth, and this seems to me to be the underlying reason why fights continue. When one sustains a fight, ones' words and action may be used to hurt others. One is often unrelenting, one does not like to back down, one wishes to sharpen ones blade against the blade of his or her opponent.

I have found many people who want to fight with me. Sometimes I have a strong urge to fight against myself or another person. Part of me becomes hot and angered that somebody else thinks that I am wrong. It is painful for the ego to seen as the wrong one.

However, I believe I have discovered a supreme joy in allowing myself to smile at my opponent, while smiling inwardly, and understanding that it doesn't matter to me who must "be right,". I ask myself to release the desire to end up the victor in situations. If whatever my opinion may be is so damned important, then i shall never feel the need to be understood as "right," by others, as long as i may prove it to myself. There is a cool, calm growth that follows relinquishing the need to be seen as the most right.

Mastre Raimundo Ireneu, A Frebre Do Amor

A Febre Do Amor

A febre do amor

É preciso compreenderIt's

Trazer sempre na memória

Este divino poder

Minha Mãe, Minha Mãezinha

Vós me dá todo valor

Não sei se eu mereço

Para sempre eu ter amor

Completei o Meu Cruzeiro

Com cento e trinta e duas flores

Se tiver alguma a mais

Vós acrescente o meu amor

translation:

feel flowers ourselves.

to yonder tool shed:
comparing this hospital.
feel flowers ourselves.

elation/depression

"Most people have little objection to getting elated, but none of us are very eager to see depression setting in. We don't mind being told not to get depressed, but "don't let yourself get elated" may have a puritanical ring to it. Steering a middle course between elation and depression is not resigning ourselves to a flat and monotonous life-far from it. There is a third state which is neither elation nor depression, and if we can go beyond these two extremes, we will find the abiding joy which is our real nature."

-Ecknath Easwaran, The Mantram Handbook

is thought neurosis?

Machu Picchu, National Geographic

spacedance flickr

com·ple·ment/ˈkämpləmənt/ Noun: A thing that completes or brings to perfection.

I see that my favorite vast-as-ocean/is-god-soul theme occurs in more than one of the texts that I've been reading.

"It is necessary to swim in the sea of darkness to recognize oneself in relation to the reflection offered by diving into that sea, but not because you have been punished, not because you have even necessarily strayed- although the sea is dark, and the sea is heavy, and there are pleasures in the sea. But essentially it is because in order to recognize oneself, in order to be of use to the ones who made the sea of darkness and made the light, you must be honed. You have to learn how to swim well- to glide through the water-without any more absorbing it, but instead leaving a trail of starlight"

-Aguia Branca, in Essential Light: Transmissions For Living Through The Heart

I offer myself as one part of a larger light on our shore, the shore where bask those they that are love. May my actions complement that which is impenetrably dark, and in times when I am lost, may my darkness contemplate light.

mantram mantram mantram mothers mothers mothers

This evening, i looked to Eknath Easwaran's The Mantram Handbook. In explaining the concepts of a montram, Easwaran writes:

"The popular etymology of the word mantram gives us some clue what it means to have the Holy Name at work in our consciousness. Although Sanskrit scholars may look askance, it is said that mantram comes from the roots man, "the mind," and tri, "to cross." The mantram is that which enables us to cross the sea of the mind. The sea is a perfect symbol of the mind. It is in constant motion; there is calm one day and storm the next. We see only the surface, with hardly any inkling of the strange creatures that lurk below or the tremendous currents that sweep through the depths. From where we stand on this shore, the far shore is so completely out of sight that we find it hard even to imagine that there is another shore."

I connect well with this metaphor, perhaps because i think of the mind and soul as transient as water. The mantram seems to give a more clear context to as why spiritual texts are relevant. Lately, my friend Diana and I have been using the Buddhist mantram 'nam myoho renge kyo' which if I remember correctly translates to something along the lines of 'my self submits to the supreme mystical law of the sacred lotus sutra.' So here I am, returning to the lotus.
More about 'nam myoho renge kyo' at Soka Gakkai International.

Another mantram I've regarded as useful is 'fuck everything.' Caution with this one, though, use the 'fuck everything' mantram only during moments when the universe is expanding. Those are the times I feel the need to reiterate the pain of a boy who lives in some universe that is always contracting and expanding at will. If you can relate to that at all to this scenario, try saying 'fuck everything' over and over again in the shower, and some of the pressure to exist may be alleviated.

I am hoping for a healthy recovery for my mother who has just completed surgery, and lots of rest for my father who takes very good care of my mother. Mothers are Goddesses. Much love to all Goddess Mothers.

3 objects, 3 poisins, 3 seeds of virtue

this is a blog i've created for myself and my friends to keep track of our progress in our spiritual lives.